I am 35 years old. I live in a common-law marriage with a man who is 42 years old. We have a little daughter.
I met him when I completely lost hope of starting a family. I had broken up with a man not long before that. I was in a relationship, but I had to get out of it – he was married and his behavior with me was not the best.
I despaired that I had no luck with the opposite sex. And then I met him. Blue-eyed blond of athletic build, as he said, single. But as it turned out later, not really. We exchanged phone numbers, then we met. We started dating.
Our meetings became so close that I spent the night at his place every day in the evening after work and I stopped living at home and practically moved in with him. I learned from him that he had a disabled wife who lived in Belarus and they had a young son. She became handicapped when she lived with him and he had been suffering from Othello’s syndrome all his life.
Anyway, the story is like this. They argued and scandalized endlessly, he annoyed her with his jealousy. If he left for work she would drag men home (he thought so because of his diagnosis), she cried because of him, took her son and ran away from him to her parents in Belarus. But then she’d come back and start all over again.
She also used to drink herself insane and have suicidal tendencies. I don’t know what caused the scandal that day, but she got drunk again, sobbed and decided to commit suicide, threw herself off the fifth floor of the house where they lived.
I felt sorry for him after what he told me. She might have also gone out when she ran away with her son to Belarus, called him from there drunk and said she was at her ex-boyfriend’s place.
In the end she survived but became an invalid. She couldn’t walk or speak. He, of course, pretended to take care of her, positioned himself so loving in front of me (probably so I wouldn’t have any claim on him), while he was dating me, and his girlfriends, with whom he slept one night, were calling him every day. In general, he went to all sorts of trouble.
I also forgot to write that the one who ispovedi.com left him disabled, she took him away from his first wife, about whom he also spoke unflatteringly. They have a daughter who went to 1st grade.
One day he and I got into a fight over another one of his girlfriends who worked at a store near his house. He really hurt my feelings at the time. I packed up and left him and went back to my house. I didn’t see him for ten days, and I didn’t want to see him after that. But he had other things on his mind. He thought I had purposely caused the scandal and left him for another man.
Ten days went by. He started calling me himself and looking for a meeting. I went to see him and that was it, I stayed with him for good. Suddenly he fell in love with me and didn’t want to let me go.
Then I found out that I was pregnant by him. Honestly, it was scary to give birth to a man who makes women jump out of windows. No one knew then what kind of life awaited me and my future baby with him. I wanted to have an abortion, but he wouldn’t let me.
Further on, when my belly began to grow, he began to be rude and to spread his hands. I was working as a salesman in a small draft beer store at the time. One day he came to my work on a Friday, when there were usually a lot of customers. I ended up hearing that I was sleeping with every one of them!
And that’s when the first bells started ringing. That’s when he got hooked on marijuana and he started getting aggressive. I didn’t like his behavior very much when he started to raise his hands at me, who was pregnant at the time, and he was shitting on me in public while he and I were waiting for a cab from work. When we got home, I packed my things and went back to my place. We didn’t see each other for three days, although we did communicate. I wanted to make up, but he stubbornly stood his ground, like you left, you traitor. Then we made up, but this is the attitude I endured the whole pregnancy. But the worst thing began to happen after the birth of my daughter. That’s when I realized why his ispovedi.com 2nd wife threw herself from the 5th floor.
He had his mom living at his house with us. She worked a 2/2 schedule. Those days when she was at work were hell for me. He also worked in the city, but there were days when he would go to other cities for work all day. Those were the days that became hell for me, especially after having sex with him. When I called him, he would yell that I was punching him out with an imaginary lover. It turns out that right after I gave birth, I started “running around the entryway” at night with my drug-addicted neighbors (we have a drug den in the entryway downstairs). He thinks that if he is at work, I am sure to leave my baby at home alone and run to that crack house or drag one of those junkies over to our house to have sex. I’ll even say more than that. I don’t know any of the neighbors in this house, let alone these… I don’t even go near them, because it’s scary, not to say I’m not friends with them. He’s the one who hangs out with them because he’s like that. And he thinks that they all make fun of him, that he’s like “with horns”.
While our little girl was growing up, I would periodically walk around with a battered face. Every once in a while, on the days he comes from far away, especially after bedtime, it’s like a demon gets into him. God forbid he should find a bruise on my body, it meant I had been groped. God forbid I take a shower when I’m home alone, it means I’ve been with someone. God forbid I go out while he’s away, it means I’m seeing someone. I was afraid to go to the clinic with my daughter, I couldn’t go to the store, I was afraid to change my underwear and look in the mirror, I was afraid to take a step without him. He used to make a scene with me on every occasion. One respite was when his mother was off duty. On those days I had a break from his madness.
I only put up with it because he sometimes realizes for himself what kind of person he is and he gets a sense of guilt for the way he hurts me. He says he loves me. I, of course, believe, hope that he will come to his senses, but ispovedi.com this behavior of his has little to do with love. He goes somewhere for work again, and again it all starts in a circle. Even ashamed to write what nasty things I hear from him. And this he says to a woman who is breastfeeding.
I put a video camera at home on my own initiative and turn it on when he leaves, and that is not enough for him. He sees that nothing happens at home and gets even more mad. He began to openly and brazenly slander me. He beats me himself, which causes bruises, and after that, when he sees these bruises, he starts to abuse me again and talks nonsense about cheating and horns.
My nervous system can no longer withstand such loads. I myself have already started to talk to him in his language, throw myself at him, also rude and insult him. After this humiliation I can no longer restrain myself, I want to kill him. He has me cornered. He doesn’t believe me. To the point where he’s already indoctrinated himself into this nonsense about what a horrible person I am. He pressures me, wants to find out with whom I supposedly cheated on him. I am the kind of person who would never go looking for an adventure on his 5th point. I sit at home with a little daughter, work remotely, again, for him. I’m afraid to even take a step without him. There is a camera at home, it broadcasts and you can see, or at least hear, what I do at home. The camera hangs on the front door in the hallway, so he can see if anyone comes in or out when he’s not home. He’s got me so freaked out. I’m afraid to even leave – what if he catches me and beats me again, or comes to my house and starts kicking the doors in. I have no choice but to call the police. Even my mother is afraid of him. If I leave, she might get hurt, too. He’ll tell her why she let me go. And in such a rotten atmosphere grows our baby girl, she is now 10 months old.
But the last incident completely threw me out of whack. It was the last straw in the cup of my patience. For two days in a row he drove to another city, his mother was working. The lights went out in our whole house, for about an hour. The camera didn’t work accordingly. I called and warned him about it. He arrived, seemed calm, didn’t get rude or throw himself at me. That is, until it came to bed. After that, it was over again. This time he was already sitting there, brazenly composing that my ear was bitter, in “saline drool. I was terrified! Again the beatings, again the rudeness and insults. And all my arguments do not work. The camera does not work either, he thinks I am lying to him, but you can’t cheat technology. And he also refers to the fact that he does not have time to watch the camera, or he thinks that I erase something there. He thinks that I put the camera on purpose as a diversion to trick him into bringing men here (specifically one of his drug addict buddies). All in all, he has made my life and our child’s life a living hell with his “love.
Dear women! God forbid any of you to meet such a monster in life. It is better to leave this relationship when the first signs are already there. If you wait for him to come to his senses, it will only get worse, it doesn’t go away by itself.
I think his jealousy delusion has taken such a form that only a therapist can help, it won’t go away by itself. There’s no cure. He’s violent. So you should not hope for the best, that it will pass by itself, but save yourself from such a man, if he allows himself to carry such blatant nonsense and dissolves his hands. All my arguments are powerless, although I do not have any bad habits. I do not drink or smoke, and I am breastfeeding my baby. He doesn’t even let me feed the baby, immediately starts throwing himself at me. He does everything to make me hate him, while crying, “Oh, you don’t love me, but I did you so much good in life.
I do not know how else to fight his jealousy delusion. I don’t know how to go on living with such a creep. Many women in such situations have to say such husbands that really was cheating, although they themselves have never cheated, just to get away, but after that it’s even worse. ispovedi.com Personally, I will stand up to the last, I really, truly faithful to him.
He’s also pissed because he’s supposedly faithful to me too. That’s the kind of argument he makes. And I quote: “You’re the first woman I’ve ever cheated on, but you…” – and so it goes on. I really want to run away from this kind of love to another city, but nowhere. And my father lives not too far away here, but I am afraid that he will follow me there.
I’m just destroyed mentally. I don’t understand what I’m still doing in his apartment after so much humiliation and what I want to prove to him. Anyway, no matter how it is, no matter how he humiliates me, the truth is still on my side.
