My husband and I have been living together for 11 years and have two children.
When we met, I liked him immediately. I was looking for a goal-oriented and developing husband, as I always liked to learn new things and achieve my goals. And my husband turned out to be like that.
Everything was going well with us. We bought a one-room apartment, then moved to a three-room flat, and though we did not go on vacation abroad but within the country, we went to China twice for clothes. At least we aspired to something. We bought another one-room, we rented it. Next, I thought we would rest, open horizons, in general, develop.
I was promoted, my income increased. My husband got a good salary. Then, out of the blue, my husband’s director almost fires him, asks him to vacate the position and sends him to paint fences, handyman. My husband was very worried, very upset. I supported him, but he was getting aggressive and occasionally drank. I asked him not to despair, told him it wasn’t the worst thing.
Then he pulled himself together and decided to open his own business. It took him a long time, a month to start one. I supported him and gave him money to start it. He didn’t have a deposit, because we bought a new car that year. Then he was mad about it, he said, why do I need this car, although he had been looking at new cars all winter, saying that his old car would break down soon. The money was added by my parents and me. And he had the lion’s share of the savings. Now he stays home. Once or twice a month he’ll go out for work, make money, even if it’s a month’s salary, but then he just stays home. Takes the kids. They have lunch, and then he lies at home. And before that, by the way, he said he wouldn’t work for anyone else.
I come home from work, the kids’ clothes are lying around, and at least the dishes are washed. And I start in a circle – to set the table, clean up, cook food for tomorrow, prepare books, clean the place in the apartment, etc. And all the while he’s lying around. He eats sunflower seeds, and watches the news and movies with such an important look. He smokes. He’s been dabbling in weed for a long time, then he quit, now he’s started again. I come home from work, he’s stoned, and he’s staring at the TV or ispovedi.com on his smartphone. I start saying to him, “From what you’re saying, it’s better to stay home than work for somebody, right?” He says, “well, what am I supposed to do? I don’t go out, I don’t drink.” I say that while I am at home, I could help me, cook and clean the house. I have already burned the meat twice, I vacuumed the house once, and that’s it, and then he just lies there.
I am beginning to be disappointed in him. The other day I cried and told him all my fears. I told him I didn’t marry that guy. I tell him not to be lazy. He said he understood, and then again. Passive staying at home. I just ask to go out and buy groceries. He freaks out, such as why, or goes out, near the house, he takes 1 kg, and that’s it.
I do not know what to do. When I begin to raise the issue that he needs to work, and in general, it is not even about the money, he begins to psycho, swear like what I still need, the money brings, says: “Leave me alone. His eyes faded, he can not walk without shaving. Even his gait has changed. A healthy man ispovedi.com lying on the couch. Also resents that I don’t want sex. He does not excite me in this form, in this condition.
How do I help him? I am very sorry that this situation happened to him. I love him, but I am starting to lose respect for him. He is 42 years old by the way. It’s been 2-3 years since our family was idyllic. The nagging, the resentment on his part. And then there’s the loss of his job. I’m afraid of losing him as a man in my eyes.
