After a divorce, a huge number of men become “Sunday dads. I, on the other hand, became a “Sunday mom” out of the blue.
The last two years of family life were a nightmare. While I had planned my first child, my second maternity leave happened out of the blue. When I realized there was going to be another baby, our baby girl had just turned one year and three months old. I was determined to have an abortion, but my husband said that was out of the question. He said that we would not be limited to one child anyway, so why drag it out if you can serve it all with one maternity leave. Even more convenient, then there would not be a break in work. But my daughter grew up to be a painful and capricious child who practically never left my arms, so I was afraid that I would not be able to cope with two children. That’s when my husband got his mom and my sister involved, and they talked me into having a second child. That was the beginning of the end.
I won’t describe all the nightmares of pregnancy, but even now I sometimes wake up in a cold sweat. My husband and I quarreled more often, because I simply lacked ispovedi.com help, and he honestly wondered what was so hard about staying home with a baby. My mother-in-law added more oil to the fire, saying: “My son earns money, you sit at home, your head does not hurt! Let him at least home to rest and relax. But she was in no hurry to help me with my child, and if she did come, her help usually consisted of following me around and telling me what I was doing wrong. Several times I asked my husband to protect me from frequent visits from his mother, to which I got a scandal with a chorus of how ungrateful I was, and “my mother is trying to help, she should appreciate it.
And then my second daughter was born, and everything finally fell apart. With two children in my arms, mother-in-law’s constant nagging and scandals from my husband, complaints: “Why the second day for dinner pasta and sausages!” – I realized that I no longer want to put up with it all.
My parents are long dead, and my sister lives on the other side of the country, so no one could physically support me. But to my sister’s credit, she was the one who put the idea of divorce in my head. In another phone conversation she said: “I won’t be able to come, but I will help with money. It will be easier and more peaceful for you with children without your husband and his family. Don’t even worry, I won’t leave you. I generally could not imagine a life of divorce with two little ones in their arms, but my sister’s words shook something in my head. During one of my regular arguments, I told my husband that I wanted a divorce.
He threw it in my face: “If you want a divorce, you can leave as you were, and you can’t even count on my help! And I’ll sue you for the kids!” I couldn’t believe that I could lose my children in a divorce. It was scary, but after that conversation with my husband, things got even worse. I decided to get a divorce after all.
As my husband promised, the court left the children with him, because I had no place of my own, no normal means of subsistence, in general, no conditions for the children. I came out of the courtroom shattered and just watched my ex-husband and mother-in-law ostentatiously ispovedi.com with the children.
My sister helped me get back on my feet. I rented an apartment, got a job, started coming alive and picking up life piece by piece. I consulted a lawyer, established the right to see my children. At first it was unaccustomed to kind of coming to visit my own kids, but now I don’t want to change that anymore. I enjoy walking with the kids, doing activities, developing them, always looking forward to our meeting and getting ready for it. The children manage to miss me during the week and are well behaved. I am aware of everything that is going on in their lives. That said, all the domestic problems and the main burden of upbringing fall on my husband and his mother, who, by the way, have repeatedly tried to revise the living conditions and were going to “make concessions” to me to have the kids stay with me periodically for a few weeks. But I refused with a smile. I don’t have the conditions for their normal life.
Perhaps when my daughters are older, I will keep them with me. But for now, I’m comfortable being a “Sunday Mom. I love my kids, I take part in their upbringing, and I pay child support. I don’t feel guilty.
