I feel really bad when I think about it. I think the secret remains a secret, exactly as long as only you know it, but I really want to share this story, because it should make you feel better.
So, when I was in my teens, a man, a man, but much older than me, started hitting on me. Until that moment, I didn’t even think that could happen. Because when you live, you believe people, you treat everybody well, you think it’s really okay. And then, when something like this happens, you don’t know if it really happened to me or not.
In general, he didn’t molest bodily, but the questions were creepy, frightening. First he said that I was beautiful, but a lot of people said and said that to me. Then he asked me how I felt about the age difference, children, if I wanted to communicate with him, to be friends. He also said he was serious about everything, offered to go for a walk.
To say that I was shocked is nothing to say. I was very scared, I didn’t tell anyone about it – I didn’t know whether to tell or not. I kept silent, I didn’t even tell my parents anything, I was ashamed, even though I hadn’t done anything like that. Why would he do that?
We all live in a small town, I am very scared. I’m scared that someone will find out about it, or maybe they already know. And the worst part is that after the last time I talked to him, when I turned him down, he asked me again. And probably the most disgusting thing is that he asked me why I did not want to be friends with him, to communicate with him.
How can this be understood? Didn’t he understand that he was twenty years older than me? I feel very uncomfortable and disgusted when I tell him this. At that time he was working as a teacher, now he’s not, thank God.
I tried to forget it all, it doesn’t work. In fact, I think I don’t even want to now, I’m afraid of anyone liking me. I grew up without a father, it didn’t work out with my mother’s stepfather either, he wasn’t a bad man, but he drank a lot and swore, he treated me well. But he hurt my mother.
With my peers and work colleagues it was easier for me to communicate with women than with the opposite sex. Forever left an unpleasant feeling. I hate it.
Thank you, for the opportunity to speak out, really, thank you.
